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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The Family Move + New Home Update: Adjusting From a Predominately White Community to a Predominately Black Community



I know everyone is asking for a home tour but we are just not home tour ready.  Unless one of you has a connect with West Elm that you're hiding then it will be just a little while.  No worries, it is coming... I promise!  It's been nearly three months since the family relocated from Northern Virginia to Howard County, MD and man it has not been easy.  I don't know how families do cross country moves... we only moved 2 hours away. LOL.  Nonetheless, we've hit some snags and the kids already want to go back to their old schools but that's not an option at this point.  All we can do is adjust.

For starters, our community is beautiful but very quiet.  This could be because it's cold as heck outside and everyone is staying in to keep warm.  But even on the rare days where it was 70-75 degrees, there really weren't many kids out playing.  The community hosted a Valentine's Day event where we hoped to meet the residents (even us parents) but only a handful of people showed up.  This is VERY different than our neighbors at the old community.  There were always lots of kids outside playing (even in the cold), because what boy wants to stay indoors unless it's to play video games.  So, this alone has been a bummer for my kids because they love to be outdoors running around until I call them in.  Unfortunately, they don't want to be outside with each other playing either which has me questioning why I had so many of them if not to entertain each other.



The next hurdle has been the culture difference.  Our old community was predominately white with sprinkles of Middle Eastern and Interracial families.  Granted we only lived in that area for about 6 years, but even the communities we lived in prior to that were predominately white.  This is actually the first time our children have been exposed to a predominately black community.  As parents, we were actually really really excited about this because they were starting to worry us.  LMAO.  Normal worries like... the way they "Whipped + Nae Nae-d", or how they wanted to wear shorts in 20 degree weather.  Nothing crazy.  But boy, you gotta be careful what you wish for!  Now we're here in Maryland and they are being picked on left and right.  It's either because of the way they talk (they don't understand the slang), or the fact that they don't wear Jordans (so how they dress), or just the way they act (too friendly apparently).  It hasn't been easy and we've already been to the school multiple times.  I've tried to explain that the black community is just a bit more guarded when it comes to "making friends", give it a little time and try not to come off too strong.  It hasn't been a huge amount of time so I can only hope that things improve over the next couple of months.

Not having a corporate job when we first moved here has been such a blessing!  I've been here everyday when they get home to talk about how things went at school that day.  Personally, I grew up in the Bronx, NY and my husband is from Plainfield, NJ so we can virtually live anywhere and fit in.  At this point, we're just trying to keep our ears open and lend our tips from experience where we can. If you have any advice or have been through this before, please comment below Moms.  We would love to hear your feedback.  XOXOMCS

2 comments:

  1. I know what you're going through. I was raised in a predominately white neighborhood which had its fair share of ups and downs. I did the same with my kids, but then I wanted a change. I wanted to see more people that looked like me. I clearly can adjust, but my kids were considered "weird" and "too talkative". I put them in activities with other like-minded black parents and now they see that black people are more complex and many are just like them. I think your explanation about black people being more guarded was an excellent choice. It keeps them from judging their people so harshly. Great post!

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  2. Great post! I moved around a lot when I was young and it can be intimidating for kids. Their whole life is centered around being accepted by their peers, being invited to things and being included. Being in a new environment where you don't feel well received can be challenging. I think NIXGOLIGHTLY is right maybe getting them in activities with kids that have the same likes as them will give them another set of peers other than those at school that they can relate to. Our culture has a tendency to say one is not black enough, etc. Parents need to teach their kids to get to know someone that may seem different to them and they will actually find out they have some things in common.
    Thanks for sharing!

    April E (applemacg)

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