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Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Why My 13 Year Old Cut All Her Hair Off...

Here we are just a couple of days after my daughter Big Chopped and the response to it has been amazing.  More importantly, Taylor loves the cut that was done by Tonia at The N Natural Hair Studio in Maryland.  Let's rewind and go back a couple of months when Taylor first approached me about cutting her hair.  This wasn't an easy conversation for us because as a Mother + a Woman, I knew how mean kids can be in school towards a girl with "no hair".  Taylor has never been a "girly girl" and has always hated doing her own hair.  She doesn't mind me slaying her styles but she just never became that interested herself.  So, her reason for wanting to chop it off was simple... To simplify her morning routine and not have to worry about her hair.  All those inches of gorgeous natural curls that I had I taken care of all these years, just gone.  That wasn't a good enough reason for me and so my answer to her at that time was NO.

I know so many of you are wondering how "I", the Natural Hair Influencer who chopped all of her own hair off could say no to this request.  Well I had my reasons.  One being that as a young girl (heck a young boy too) taking pride in your appearance and looking "the part" when you leave home is an important part of growing up.  Not to be skipped by cutting all your hair off.  Taylor was trying to sink deeper into her laziness by eliminating a portion of her morning routine.  My answer wasn't just, NO, but rather I asked that she spend some time thinking about what she wanted to do and why.  If she still had the urge to cut her hair in a couple of months then I would allow her.

During this time,  we took time to look at pictures of women with short cuts.  Some of you may be wondering why this was necessary when I had cut my own hair short a while back.  Taylor and I do not have the same texture or density of hair and I wanted her to see what HER own hair would look like cut short.  This is such an important step that many Naturalistas skip when deciding to Big Chop and can lead to disappointment.  At 13 years old, her disappointment becomes my disappointment and my patience is just not set up for that!  LOL.  Anyways, after some time I became more confident that she was absolutely ready to make this decision and I reached out to Angela Walker, Owner of The N Natural Hair Studio.  Hey, there are perks to your Mom being a Beauty Blogger!  I set the appointment at the beginning of Spring Break week so Taylor would have a week off from school to become comfortable with styling her new cut.  This has turned out to be a genius idea!

The experience at this salon was incredible.  Tonia was the stylist that cut Taylor's hair and the patience she had with her was unmatched (even by me lol).  Taylor insisted on shaving it all off like a Caesar but I was NOT having that.  Tonia stepped in as the mediator and explained in "Non Mom Words" that a Caesar would not be ideal with Taylor having edges on the thinner side.  We all decided on a short round/even cut and began the process.  No clippers were used at all, only shears.  Do you know how much hand work that is to cut that much hair off only using Shears?!  But I appreciated her taking the initiative to do this because I remember having my own Big Chop done and they used Clippers.  Once my hair began growing back, my ends felt ridiculously rough.  From beginning to end, Taylor was so giddy and excited meanwhile, it was taking everything in me not to scream every time a bundle fell to the floor. Once it was all done, everyone looked down at the hair and thought the same thing.  Why didn't we think to donate the hair?!?!  I think it hit us all at the same time but we couldn't go back.

When it was all said and done, Taylor was smiling from ear to ear.  Tonia did an amazing job and I couldn't be more proud of the young woman that I was raising.  Shoot we all were proud of her!  Here she was at an age that many of us can remember being so vain ourselves, yet she gave zero f*cks about what anyone thought.  The steps that I took before allowing her to cut all of her hair off are the steps I would recommend to anyone.  Wait a while and see if you still feel the same a couple of weeks later.  And, most importantly make sure you're doing it for the right reasons!  Tell us about your Big Chop experience below in the comments.  How short did you go?  Any regrets?  Looking forward to reading about your experiences.  Until next time.

1 comment:

  1. How beautiful! She was on a mission. I love it.
    My big chop was a suggestion of my Bestie after I spent about seven months transitioning. She cut it and my husband said I looked like Florida Evans. I was crushed but still in love with the new me. I was liberated and I haven't looked back.


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