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Monday, January 8, 2018

The Biggest Lesson I Learned in 2017



Edit: I started this Blog Post with the title "7 Things I learned in 2017" because it sounded 'good'.  As  Blogger/Creator, I'm always looking for images, captions, titles, etc... that capture the attention of you all.  These days, we have very little attention to catch to begin with so it's not an easy task.  But as I began writing I realized that there was one area of my life that grew in a way that deserved it's own Blog Post.  Motherhood.  So, I switched gears and decided to give this area of growth the attention it deserved because I honestly feel like it could help a fellow Mom.  Momming ain't easy and while we are always looking for shortcuts to the 'right way' to do things, sometimes there is simply no shortcut except to do the work!  So, as you read this please keep in mind that I did plan to share other areas in my life that deserved applause (marriage, finances, business) but for me, this is the one I'm most proud of + want to share.

Whew, that year went by fast didn't it?!  And I'm not just saying that because we are now in 2018 but literally each week I would say "the week is flying by" or I found myself saying "where did the day go?" quite a bit.  Not sure if time is speeding up or what but it's starting to feel like we don't have as much time as we thought!  Even though the year flew by, I gained some MAJOR lessons last year and am already looking forward to what this year will teach me about myself.  Most of the lessons I learned had to do with my role as a Mother, Friend + Wife.  Business was great, can't complain about that, but I honestly feel like becoming better in those other areas left room for me to grow my creativity as an Influencer.



A Pro at Raising Children || A Rookie at Raising Teens

LAST. YEAR. WAS. HARD... for me as a Mother.  I have three children and for quite some time now, I've considered myself a "Professional" Mom.  Friends + family have reached out to me over the years as a resource in raising their children so you can imagine my confusement when I felt lost in Motherhood at the beginning of 2017.  I'm not talking about 'google the answer to your problem' lost but more like 'on the phone sobbing to my own Mom' lost... there's a difference.  All of the work I put in seemed to not be 'working' on Taylor anymore and I just didn't know what to do because I had never done 'this' before... you know, raise a Teen.  This was all new territory for me and I felt like I wasn't warned.  Similar to how I felt about the first time I had real contractions... nobody warned me it would be THAT painful.  Keep in mind, I mentioned death or dying to my nurse multiple times during delivery.  LOL.

I digress, it was almost as if I was a rookie Mom again.  Trying out different tactics to see which would work.  Not knowing if what I was doing was right or if my child would hate me forever + end up on the stripper pole.  And yes, these are real life fears I have since every family has at least ONE kid who ends up taking the crazy route!  It was also much scarier because feeling like a rookie to a child who is 1, 2, 3 years old isn't so bad... you have years to improve!  Feeling like a Rookie to a Teen is scary AF because you know there isn't much time left for you to fix this shit.  Boy did we struggle as a unit but I found leaning on other Moms who had already raised Teens (including my own Mother) helped me A LOT.  The "village" aspect of raising a child sort of fades as you begin to feel like a Pro.  In fact you stop wanting advice because you got this shit.  But boy did I go crawling back for advice this year!  It was in those times that I was reminded that I needed to trust myself again just as I did when they were children.  I didn't know what I was 'really' doing back when they were toddlers, but I trusted that what I was doing was the 'right' thing to do.  This was the mindset so many women reminded me to maintain and to stop doubting myself.

Here I was, 14 years in the game and doubting my skills as a Mother.  It was a scary feeling and the first thing I wanted to do was hide these flaws + pretend like shit was all good.  But who would that have helped?  It was hard for me to actually say "I don't know WTF I'm doing right now, can you help me?!".  Sure, if I was putting together a dresser from IKEA then I would have no problem admitting this weakness but somehow asking another Mom for help in this area of my life made me feel so vulnerable.  And, I know what you're thinking... what about Google or Self Help books?  Who writes that stuff?  Do you know?!  Yes, sometimes it's a person with tons of accolades and receipts to prove they know their stuff but sometimes it's a person who doesn't even have children.  Nope, no thank you.  So I went directly to the source... people I knew that I had raised Teens themselves!!

I can't say Taylor + I are 100% better right now... that would be a lie but things are SO much better than they were.  Honestly, we may not hit a good stride for maybe another year or so but I'm working hard to get there.  The constant attitude, eye rolling, dirty ass rooms, privileged behavior, talking back + more is still happening but I'm learning how to better react + not jump up and pop off at her every time.  Gotta preserve my sanity + that wasn't doing it.  So if there's one piece of advice I can give to Moms is to keep your village close by because you just never know when you might need them again.  Let me know if you want me to continue this journey as a series where I update the Blog with how things are going + what is working!

XOXOMCS

Shoppe Owner


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